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Play video to start
Please welcome
to the show, Jason Bateman.
Please
welcome
to
the
show
Jason
Bateman
[CHEERING]
CHEERING
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
INSPIRATIONAL
MUSIC
Jason Bateman!
Jason
Bateman
# #
#
#
My man.
My
man
[CHEERING]
CHEERING
Let me tell you--
Let
me
tell
you-
I'm going to tell you
something about Jason Bateman.
I'm
going
to
tell
you
something
about
Jason
Bateman
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh
With you here.
With
you
here
Jason Bateman don't miss.
Jason
Bateman
don't
miss
You don't miss.
You
don't
miss
Your programs,
whether you direct,
Your
programs
whether
you
direct
whether you produce, whether
you're in them, you don't miss.
whether
you
produce
whether
you're
in
them
you
don't
miss
This is-- it's a great start.
This
is-
it's
a
great
start
Right here, this
is a great start.
Right
here
this
is
a
great
start
Now, but that-- that clip--
Now
but
that-
that
clip-
Not the best, not the best.
Not
the
best
not
the
best
But--
But-
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
But if you're looking for a
comedy clip, that's a miss,
But
if
you're
looking
for
a
comedy
clip
that's
a
miss
you know?
you
know
I felt them out there, like
they're waiting for-- waiting
I
felt
them
out
there
like
they're
waiting
for-
waiting
to laugh, waiting to laugh.
to
laugh
waiting
to
laugh
Then I say, you Frenched that
guy, did not hurt his feelings.
Then
I
say
you
Frenched
that
guy
did
not
hurt
his
feelings
They were like, we should
laugh at that, should we not?
They
were
like
we
should
laugh
at
that
should
we
not
What it did, though,
it was an amuse-bouche.
What
it
did
though
it
was
an
amuse-bouche
It set the mood.
It
set
the
mood
That means a little
bit of, like, a aperitif.
That
means
a
little
bit
of
like
a
aperitif
- I don't think so.
- They know.
I
don't
think
so
They
know
I don't think so.
I
don't
think
so
Let me say this, just
a stellar start of the show,
Let
me
say
this
just
a
stellar
start
of
the
show
by the way.
- Thank you.
by
the
way
Thank
you
You were killing
me backstage.
You
were
killing
me
backstage
I was-- we were--
we were trying.
I
was-
we
were-
we
were
trying
And the handsomeness,
guys, the handsomeness.
And
the
handsomeness
guys
the
handsomeness
[CHEERING WHISTLING]
CHEERING
WHISTLING
Let me tell you something.
Let
me
tell
you
something
I-- can I tell you
something when you see this?
I-
can
I
tell
you
something
when
you
see
this
JASON BATEMAN:
And there's no tricks.
JASON
BATEMAN:
And
there's
no
tricks
There's no tricks.
There's
no
tricks
There's no Velcro strap
in the back or anything.
There's
no
Velcro
strap
in
the
back
or
anything
No.
No
No-- this is all natural.
No-
this
is
all
natural
JASON BATEMAN: You wake up,
fall out of bed like this.
JASON
BATEMAN:
You
wake
up
fall
out
of
bed
like
this
I fall out of bed like this,
and I don't use any lotions.
I
fall
out
of
bed
like
this
and
I
don't
use
any
lotions
This is how you do--
here's what you do.
This
is
how
you
do-
here's
what
you
do
No toner, no nothing.
No
toner
no
nothing
No toner, no nothing.
No
toner
no
nothing
I am maybe a month away from
being the Dos Equis guy.
I
am
maybe
a
month
away
from
being
the
Dos
Equis
guy
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
This-- this close.
This-
this
close
I think it's a week.
It might be a week.
I
think
it's
a
week
It
might
be
a
week
Maybe a week.
Maybe
a
week
I'm the most interesting man.
I'm
the
most
interesting
man
So good.
So
good
It's so bad because so many--
It's
so
bad
because
so
many-
and this is what DTF St. Louis,
not to bring it back to this,
and
this
is
what
DTF
St
Louis
not
to
bring
it
back
to
this
but it's men of a certain age.
but
it's
men
of
a
certain
age
Most of my male friends are
near my age or not my age.
Most
of
my
male
friends
are
near
my
age
or
not
my
age
And yet, the disparity
in how we are aging--
And
yet
the
disparity
in
how
we
are
aging-
for instance, you're not
that far off from me.
for
instance
you're
not
that
far
off
from
me
I'm 57.
I'm
57
Right.
Right
And um there--
And
um
there-
What the [BLEEP]?
What
the
BLEEP
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
57-- like, when
our dads were 57,
57-
like
when
our
dads
were
57
they looked like, in a week,
they'll be dead a month,
they
looked
like
in
a
week
they'll
be
dead
a
month
you know?
you
know
I mean, it was--
I
mean
it
was-
And I seem to be following
more to that tradition.
And
I
seem
to
be
following
more
to
that
tradition
But you, on the other hand--
But
you
on
the
other
hand-
You-- no.
You-
no
57 is the new 37, I think.
57
is
the
new
37
I
think
This is--
This
is-
What's 63?
What's
63
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
67--
67-
The new accelerant.
The
new
accelerant
It's the new 40.
It's
the
new
40
63 is the new 40.
- OK.
63
is
the
new
40
OK
I would take that.
It is true, though.
I
would
take
that
It
is
true
though
Do you know this?
Do
you
know
this
Do you remember
the movie Cocoon?
Do
you
remember
the
movie
Cocoon
I'm so happy to be
back on the show.
I'm
so
happy
to
be
back
on
the
show
It's so delightful
to have you here.
It's
so
delightful
to
have
you
here
It's-- can I
tell you something?
It's-
can
I
tell
you
something
[APPLAUSE]
APPLAUSE
Do you-- I can't even tell
you what a drag it is for me,
Do
you-
I
can't
even
tell
you
what
a
drag
it
is
for
me
week after week, to have
to read these [BLEEP] books.
week
after
week
to
have
to
read
these
BLEEP
books
You be the other--
You
be
the
other-
Oh, I'm an economist who
knows what's going on in China.
Oh
I'm
an
economist
who
knows
what's
going
on
in
China
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
That's what you--
that's what you're doing
That's
what
you-
that's
what
you're
doing
on your four days off?
- Yes.
on
your
four
days
off
Yes
You're prepping
for your one day.
You're
prepping
for
your
one
day
Yes.
Yes
I'd like to see you
here five days a week.
I'd
like
to
see
you
here
five
days
a
week
No.
No
I couldn't do it.
I
couldn't
do
it
And by the way, these people,
I don't know who their editors
And
by
the
way
these
people
I
don't
know
who
their
editors
are with the font size.
are
with
the
font
size
On the teleprompter?
On
the
teleprompter
Not in the teleprompter
on the books I have to read.
Not
in
the
teleprompter
on
the
books
I
have
to
read
Oh oh oh.
Oh
oh
oh
Should we make
it 800 pages or--
Should
we
make
it
800
pages
or-
I know.
I
know
Let's make it 400 pages
of illegible, tiny print.
Let's
make
it
400
pages
of
illegible
tiny
print
Listen to them.
Listen to them now.
Listen
to
them
Listen
to
them
now
I can't anymore.
I
can't
anymore
You don't have hearing?
You
don't
have
hearing
I don't have
the hearing aids--
I
don't
have
the
hearing
aids-
Grandad can't hear anymore.
Grandad
can't
hear
anymore
Thank you.
Thank
you
Thank you.
Thank
you
So this is lovely.
So
this
is
lovely
What was I going to say to you?
What
was
I
going
to
say
to
you
We were talking
about Down to [BLEEP],
We
were
talking
about
Down
to
BLEEP
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
which I found out--
which
I
found
out-
Is that what it means?
Is
that
what
it
means
--what it means about
a week into shooting
-what
it
means
about
a
week
into
shooting
from my 19-year-old daughter.
from
my
19-year-old
daughter
I was like, is this
a township in St. Louis?
I
was
like
is
this
a
township
in
St
Louis
Is that what DTF is?
Is
that
what
DTF
is
No Dad.
No
Dad
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Can
I
talk
to
you
for
a
sec
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
That's embarrassing.
That's
embarrassing
It's very embarrassing.
It's
very
embarrassing
And it happens all the time.
And
it
happens
all
the
time
I know.
I
know
Your son keeps you
up to date on stuff?
Your
son
keeps
you
up
to
date
on
stuff
No.
No
He doesn't know anything.
He
doesn't
know
anything
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
My daughter-- you know
what she keeps me up on?
My
daughter-
you
know
what
she
keeps
me
up
on
Lowkenuinely.
Lowkenuinely
Low-- it's a little baby who's
AI generated, and he says
Low-
it's
a
little
baby
who's
AI
generated
and
he
says
things like "lowkenuinely."
things
like
lowkenuinely
And that's a big thing.
And
that's
a
big
thing
And so I say that sometimes.
And
so
I
say
that
sometimes
You guys know what
he's talking about?
You
guys
know
what
he's
talking
about
Do you know what
I'm talking about?
Do
you
know
what
I'm
talking
about
No.
No
His name is-- first name
Lowken, last name We?
His
name
is-
first
name
Lowken
last
name
We
No.
No
He goes to the whole thing.
He
goes
to
the
whole
thing
It's low-- it's "low
key" and "genuinely."
It's
low-
it's
low
key
and
genuinely
And it's melded together
with this AI baby who looks
And
it's
melded
together
with
this
AI
baby
who
looks
like a 50-year-old rapper.
like
a
50-year-old
rapper
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
It's crazy.
It's
crazy
Hanging a shit.
Hanging
a
shit
Yes.
Yes
Like C+C guy.
Like
C+C
guy
Let me ask you a question.
Let
me
ask
you
a
question
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
How crazy was that?
How
crazy
was
that
That was a great bit.
That
was
a
great
bit
Do you-- do you think
she's-- do you think this
Do
you-
do
you
think
she's-
do
you
think
this
is real or she's pranking me?
is
real
or
she's
pranking
me
- Your daughter?
- Yeah.
Your
daughter
Yeah
She's probably pranking you.
She's
probably
pranking
you
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
'Cause I use it
in conversation.
'Cause
I
use
it
in
conversation
Oh.
You know what I used recently?
Oh
You
know
what
I
used
recently
Oh god.
Oh
god
Listen to these two old dudes
going through like that.
Listen
to
these
two
old
dudes
going
through
like
that
What is it-- what's the 6,
the 6-- the 6 7 thing?
What
is
it-
what's
the
6
the
6-
the
6
7
thing
You got a handle
on the 6 7 thing?
You
got
a
handle
on
the
6
7
thing
No no.
No
no
No.s But that's younger.
Nos
But
that's
younger
That's-- my kids are 21 and 20.
That's-
my
kids
are
21
and
20
They don't do-- that's a--
They
don't
do-
that's
a-
like, 10-year-old
boys, you say 6 7,
like
10-year-old
boys
you
say
6
7
and then they go like this.
and
then
they
go
like
this
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
And what are they
doing with that?
And
what
are
they
doing
with
that
We don't know.
- Balls, something about balls.
We
don't
know
Balls
something
about
balls
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
Today-- how-- your-- 19.
Today-
how-
your-
19
What else you got?
What
else
you
got
I got a 14
and a 19, two girls.
I
got
a
14
and
a
19
two
girls
Great girls, they are.
Great
girls
they
are
Well, of course.
Well
of
course
Your wife is wonderful,
and you're wonderful.
Your
wife
is
wonderful
and
you're
wonderful
Amanda is fantastic.
Amanda
is
fantastic
I'm a very lucky boy.
I'm
a
very
lucky
boy
Do you like both your kids?
Do
you
like
both
your
kids
JON STEWART: Nah.
JON
STEWART:
Nah
No, I do, actually.
No
I
do
actually
But here's the problem.
But
here's
the
problem
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
And I don't know--
And
I
don't
know-
Trade you, maybe one for one?
Trade
you
maybe
one
for
one
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
Never.
Never
Here's what they
don't tell you.
Here's
what
they
don't
tell
you
They leave.
They
leave
I know.
I
know
- What?
- I know.
What
I
know
It's sad.
It's
sad
So I started to pick a fight
with the 19-year-old about
So
I
started
to
pick
a
fight
with
the
19-year-old
about
a month before she left,
just so it wouldn't hurt
a
month
before
she
left
just
so
it
wouldn't
hurt
so bad when she left.
so
bad
when
she
left
JON STEWART: Really?
JON
STEWART:
Really
Did you let her
in on that or just--
Did
you
let
her
in
on
that
or
just-
she was just like, why
is Dad being so mean?
she
was
just
like
why
is
Dad
being
so
mean
Eventually, I did.
Eventually
I
did
Well, she said,
what are you doing?
Well
she
said
what
are
you
doing
I'm going to school
locally in Los Angeles.
I'm
going
to
school
locally
in
Los
Angeles
I was like, oh, OK.
I'm sorry.
I
was
like
oh
OK
I'm
sorry
Does she still live at home?
Does
she
still
live
at
home
She does not live at home.
She
does
not
live
at
home
She's got to live in the dorm.
She's
got
to
live
in
the
dorm
But she's there at SC, and so--
But
she's
there
at
SC
and
so-
so it doesn't
hurt quite as bad.
so
it
doesn't
hurt
quite
as
bad
What was the drop-off like?
What
was
the
drop-off
like
Because I embarrassed myself
at both my kids' drop-offs.
Because
I
embarrassed
myself
at
both
my
kids'
drop-offs
How did you handle it?
How
did
you
handle
it
There was a move in.
There
was
a
move
in
There were carts.
There
were
carts
There were furniture
buckets with the carts.
There
were
furniture
buckets
with
the
carts
And it was a hot day.
And
it
was
a
hot
day
There was unattractive sweat.
There
was
unattractive
sweat
I didn't mean
how did you fare
I
didn't
mean
how
did
you
fare
physically, moving them in.
physically
moving
them
in
Oh, the emotional thing?
Oh
the
emotional
thing
I know it's
difficult at times.
I
know
it's
difficult
at
times
[LAUGHTER]
It's a couch.
LAUGHTER
It's
a
couch
It's an ottoman.
It's
an
ottoman
I got to carry
stuff upstairs.
I
got
to
carry
stuff
upstairs
No no no.
No
no
no
That's not really
what I'm getting at.
That's
not
really
what
I'm
getting
at
Oh, you mean the emotions.
Oh
you
mean
the
emotions
I'm a robot, Jon.
I'm
a
robot
Jon
I don't-- I don't feel much.
I
don't-
I
don't
feel
much
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
I was-- no, again, because I
knew she was just down the 405
I
was-
no
again
because
I
knew
she
was
just
down
the
405
and across on the 10, I
could be there in a flash
and
across
on
the
10
I
could
be
there
in
a
flash
if I need to be, if I start
to really feel emotions.
if
I
need
to
be
if
I
start
to
really
feel
emotions
I could drive and quell that.
I
could
drive
and
quell
that
So--
- And she's OK with that?
So-
And
she's
OK
with
that
You just show up?
You
just
show
up
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
Middle of the night.
Middle
of
the
night
[KNOCKING] Babe, feeling low.
KNOCKING
Babe
feeling
low
I'm feeling.
I'm
feeling
Yeah.
Yeah
No, it was OK.
No
it
was
OK
It was all right.
It
was
all
right
But, you know,
somebody smart said
But
you
know
somebody
smart
said
to me, when I was starting to
feel-- it was about a year out.
to
me
when
I
was
starting
to
feel-
it
was
about
a
year
out
And she was-- I
knew she was going
And
she
was-
I
knew
she
was
going
to be going off to school.
to
be
going
off
to
school
The 14-year-old,
I got some time.
The
14-year-old
I
got
some
time
JON STEWART: Hold on to that.
JON
STEWART:
Hold
on
to
that
This guy said to me-- he
said, hey, man, you're not
This
guy
said
to
me-
he
said
hey
man
you're
not
losing your 10-year-old.
losing
your
10-year-old
Like, you're going
to be all right.
Like
you're
going
to
be
all
right
And he's right, you know.
And
he's
right
you
know
When they get to be
18, their wings are
When
they
get
to
be
18
their
wings
are
already flapping pretty fast.
already
flapping
pretty
fast
They are out of the nest
multiple times
They
are
out
of
the
nest
multiple
times
throughout the week.
throughout
the
week
Like, you're not losing
that little angel
Like
you're
not
losing
that
little
angel
that still needs you to put
them to bed and stuff.
that
still
needs
you
to
put
them
to
bed
and
stuff
They're pretty
independent by that age.
They're
pretty
independent
by
that
age
And we've learned how to sort
of almost become peers.
And
we've
learned
how
to
sort
of
almost
become
peers
And it was smoother than
I thought it would be,
And
it
was
smoother
than
I
thought
it
would
be
as far as like, it's not
the 10-year-old saying,
as
far
as
like
it's
not
the
10-year-old
saying
see you, Mom and Dad, I'm out,
and you're just, like, a mess.
see
you
Mom
and
Dad
I'm
out
and
you're
just
like
a
mess
Yeah no.
That--
Yeah
no
That-
Right?
Right
Yeah absolutely.
Yeah
absolutely
Absolutely.
Absolutely
No, but wait, yours
was out of town, though.
No
but
wait
yours
was
out
of
town
though
Yours--
- No, no, no, absolutely.
Yours-
No
no
no
absolutely
I was the same.
I
was
the
same
Let me tell you about
moving my kid in.
Let
me
tell
you
about
moving
my
kid
in
So it's two flights of stairs
and, you know, that's hard.
So
it's
two
flights
of
stairs
and
you
know
that's
hard
And it was lamps.
And
it
was
lamps
And we bought him
a calculator that
And
we
bought
him
a
calculator
that
was, like, as big as a desk,
and I carried that.
was
like
as
big
as
a
desk
and
I
carried
that
Did you fall apart?
Did
you
fall
apart
Twice.
Twice
- No, Jon.
- Twice.
No
Jon
Twice
Both kids--
Both
kids-
Ugly crying?
Ugly
crying
Bad man.
Like--
Bad
man
Like-
Like, you
embarrassed your kid.
Like
you
embarrassed
your
kid
--to the point
where, like, my son
-to
the
point
where
like
my
son
literally had to slap me.
literally
had
to
slap
me
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
He goes, snap out of it, man.
He
goes
snap
out
of
it
man
Did you have
to excuse yourself,
Did
you
have
to
excuse
yourself
go back downstairs, get in
the car, and get it together?
go
back
downstairs
get
in
the
car
and
get
it
together
Oh no.
Oh
no
So I didn't, in any way--
So
I
didn't
in
any
way-
I didn't think it was
going to sneak up on me.
I
didn't
think
it
was
going
to
sneak
up
on
me
And I was damaged.
And
I
was
damaged
Like-- and he handled it.
Like-
and
he
handled
it
Bless his heart.
Bless
his
heart
But there was
a little bit of like--
But
there
was
a
little
bit
of
like-
I got like that when we
were doing the college tours,
I
got
like
that
when
we
were
doing
the
college
tours
the college tours that
were out of town and stuff.
the
college
tours
that
were
out
of
town
and
stuff
I was like-- that
was not good, all
I
was
like-
that
was
not
good
all
of these foreign
roads and the airports
of
these
foreign
roads
and
the
airports
and, like, she's going
to be so far away.
and
like
she's
going
to
be
so
far
away
That was tough.
That
was
tough
Oh, you were worried she
didn't have, let's say,
Oh
you
were
worried
she
didn't
have
let's
say
a phone.
a
phone
Well, but the phone
doesn't get it done.
Well
but
the
phone
doesn't
get
it
done
I want my sweet little baby
angel in the house, Jon.
I
want
my
sweet
little
baby
angel
in
the
house
Jon
See, that's the thing.
See
that's
the
thing
So here's what happens to me.
So
here's
what
happens
to
me
And this gets
back again to DTF.
And
this
gets
back
again
to
DTF
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
Let's get back
to the themes that--
Let's
get
back
to
the
themes
that-
Please, can we pump
the product, Jon?
Please
can
we
pump
the
product
Jon
Yes.
Yes
Here's what's
interesting to me,
Here's
what's
interesting
to
me
is-- well, I'm
generally a loner.
is-
well
I'm
generally
a
loner
But you form this unit,
the wife and the kids.
But
you
form
this
unit
the
wife
and
the
kids
And it really becomes more
and more your whole world.
And
it
really
becomes
more
and
more
your
whole
world
I find that my friendships--
I
find
that
my
friendships-
I still have such--
- Love friends.
I
still
have
such-
Love
friends
Love for my friends.
Love
for
my
friends
Yeah, but we-- right?
Yeah
but
we-
right
Exactly.
Exactly
We're so old, we don't
have anybody anymore.
We're
so
old
we
don't
have
anybody
anymore
It's just the kids and the
wife, which is what we want.
It's
just
the
kids
and
the
wife
which
is
what
we
want
That's what you want.
That's
what
you
want
Yeah, but then they leave.
Yeah
but
then
they
leave
And then they leave.
And
then
they
leave
And it turns out
my wife still had friends.
And
it
turns
out
my
wife
still
had
friends
She didn't-- she
didn't tell me--
She
didn't-
she
didn't
tell
me-
She planned ahead.
She
planned
ahead
So I--
So
I-
She planned ahead.
She
planned
ahead
[APPLAUSE]
APPLAUSE
We're so dumb with that.
We're
so
dumb
with
that
And that is what DTF starts
to cover a little bit,
And
that
is
what
DTF
starts
to
cover
a
little
bit
about how we're
ding dongs and we
about
how
we're
ding
dongs
and
we
think everything's going
to be unicorns and rainbows
think
everything's
going
to
be
unicorns
and
rainbows
for the rest of our lives.
for
the
rest
of
our
lives
And then you end
up in a Motel 6
And
then
you
end
up
in
a
Motel
6
with a woman
in a strap-on [BLEEP] you
with
a
woman
in
a
strap-on
BLEEP
you
in the ass in a hotel room.
in
the
ass
in
a
hotel
room
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
It's a cautionary tale, Jon.
It's
a
cautionary
tale
Jon
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
And it's on-- it's
on the HBO over there.
And
it's
on-
it's
on
the
HBO
over
there
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
It's not necessarily
a universal story,
It's
not
necessarily
a
universal
story
but in its specificity,
it is universal.
but
in
its
specificity
it
is
universal
It is universal.
It
is
universal
And if you want to find out
what can happen if you really
And
if
you
want
to
find
out
what
can
happen
if
you
really
make bad decisions, you can
watch Black Rabbit over there
make
bad
decisions
you
can
watch
Black
Rabbit
over
there
on Netflix.
on
Netflix
But that's dark Bateman.
But
that's
dark
Bateman
I'm not--
I'm
not-
You're not
a dark Bateman guy?
You're
not
a
dark
Bateman
guy
I'm much more
of a-- although--
I'm
much
more
of
a-
although-
You can drink into that.
You
can
drink
into
that
Ozark, I was actually
into the dark Bateman.
Ozark
I
was
actually
into
the
dark
Bateman
It's pretty dark.
JON STEWART: It's pretty dark.
It's
pretty
dark
JON
STEWART:
It's
pretty
dark
But it was dark in--
dark in khakis.
But
it
was
dark
in-
dark
in
khakis
JON STEWART: Yeah.
That's true.
JON
STEWART:
Yeah
That's
true
Thank you.
Thank
you
Dark-- dark-- dark in khakis.
Dark-
dark-
dark
in
khakis
I told you this.
I
told
you
this
I think I sent you--
I
think
I
sent
you-
I said, you know, to make--
I
said
you
know
to
make-
to have-- to get on television
is an accomplishment, I think.
to
have-
to
get
on
television
is
an
accomplishment
I
think
It's so hard to get on there.
It's
so
hard
to
get
on
there
And you got on there--
And
you
got
on
there-
And to stay on,
like you have.
And
to
stay
on
like
you
have
But to stay on television,
that's another accomplishment.
But
to
stay
on
television
that's
another
accomplishment
But then to do a piece of work
that is timeless, like Ozark--
But
then
to
do
a
piece
of
work
that
is
timeless
like
Ozark-
Thank you.
Thank
you
--like DTF St.
Louis, that says that
-like
DTF
St
Louis
that
says
that
puts you in a whole
other-- that's why
puts
you
in
a
whole
other-
that's
why
I say Bateman doesn't miss.
I
say
Bateman
doesn't
miss
Because that puts you--
Because
that
puts
you-
Well, and I know
you'll agree with this.
Well
and
I
know
you'll
agree
with
this
If there's a bunch of great
people doing it with you,
If
there's
a
bunch
of
great
people
doing
it
with
you
I mean, my god, the group you
walk up on stage every year
I
mean
my
god
the
group
you
walk
up
on
stage
every
year
at the Emmys, it's like
this-- this isn't golf.
at
the
Emmys
it's
like
this-
this
isn't
golf
You're not-- it's not
playing by yourself.
You're
not-
it's
not
playing
by
yourself
It takes a village.
It
takes
a
village
And so--
And
so-
[APPLAUSE]
APPLAUSE
I don't know what
just happened there.
I
don't
know
what
just
happened
there
[APPLAUSE]
APPLAUSE
You've got-- you've
got a real team here.
You've
got-
you've
got
a
real
team
here
Have you made-- have you
guys made the adjustment
Have
you
made-
have
you
guys
made
the
adjustment
now into couples friends?
now
into
couples
friends
Is it now that--
Is
it
now
that-
All of my friends are
her friends that I've
All
of
my
friends
are
her
friends
that
I've
somewhat stolen a little bit.
somewhat
stolen
a
little
bit
And-- and thank God.
And-
and
thank
God
She's got--
She's
got-
You go to basketball--
You
go
to
basketball-
I saw you at the Knicks game.
I
saw
you
at
the
Knicks
game
You brought Sudeikis instead
of me, which is fine.
You
brought
Sudeikis
instead
of
me
which
is
fine
Sudeikis was-- Sudeikis
was previously planted.
Sudeikis
was-
Sudeikis
was
previously
planted
He was already there.
He
was
already
there
And it was just like,
whoa, bro, look at you.
And
it
was
just
like
whoa
bro
look
at
you
Wait.
Wait
You guys didn't know that
you were sitting together?
You
guys
didn't
know
that
you
were
sitting
together
Haven't seen him
for a long time.
Haven't
seen
him
for
a
long
time
No.
That was awesome.
No
That
was
awesome
I can only thank the fantastic
Trey, the miracle
I
can
only
thank
the
fantastic
Trey
the
miracle
maker over there at MSG,
who was nice enough
maker
over
there
at
MSG
who
was
nice
enough
to give us nice tickets.
to
give
us
nice
tickets
You think you're going
to make it over to the finals?
You
think
you're
going
to
make
it
over
to
the
finals
Well, I don't know, if sweet
Trey is being real sweet.
Well
I
don't
know
if
sweet
Trey
is
being
real
sweet
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
I don't know.
I
don't
know
Listen, it's a hard ticket.
Listen
it's
a
hard
ticket
And I'm very grateful
to be there, a bunch
And
I'm
very
grateful
to
be
there
a
bunch
of nice people over there.
of
nice
people
over
there
I'm a transplant.
I'm
a
transplant
I live out in the Los
Angeles area.
I
live
out
in
the
Los
Angeles
area
And so they're very nice to--
And
so
they're
very
nice
to-
Do you guys have teams
out there too or no?
Do
you
guys
have
teams
out
there
too
or
no
A couple.
A
couple
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
We've got a couple.
We've
got
a
couple
I mean, they're-- they're
currently fishing.
I
mean
they're-
they're
currently
fishing
But, you know,
the Dodger blue is--
But
you
know
the
Dodger
blue
is-
I mean, you can go
ahead and do that.
I
mean
you
can
go
ahead
and
do
that
You can take it.
You
can
take
it
You can do that.
You
can
do
that
Speaking of kids,
so Oliver also has children.
Speaking
of
kids
so
Oliver
also
has
children
His are a little bit younger.
His
are
a
little
bit
younger
He's got a 10-year-old
that, when he sees me--
He's
got
a
10-year-old
that
when
he
sees
me-
so Oliver is a Mets fan and a
Jets fan and all that stuff.
so
Oliver
is
a
Mets
fan
and
a
Jets
fan
and
all
that
stuff
His wife--
His
wife-
[SINGLE CLAP]
That's right.
SINGLE
CLAP
That's
right
That's about right.
That's
about
right
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
His wife is from Philly.
His
wife
is
from
Philly
So the kids are-- see?
So
the
kids
are-
see
OK.
OK
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
Good sports town.
Good
sports
town
His son--
His
son-
10 years old-- whenever I see
him, relentlessly bullies me--
10
years
old-
whenever
I
see
him
relentlessly
bullies
me-
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
--about that I like the Giants,
the New York Football Giants.
-about
that
I
like
the
Giants
the
New
York
Football
Giants
He's an Eagles fan.
He's
an
Eagles
fan
You strike him.
You
strike
him
Just strike him.
Just
strike
him
Strike--
Strike-
I don't think you get how
intimidating this kid is.
I
don't
think
you
get
how
intimidating
this
kid
is
What, he's got
a little size to him?
What
he's
got
a
little
size
to
him
Here's what he
does when he sees me.
Here's
what
he
does
when
he
sees
me
No.
And he's Oliver's kid.
No
And
he's
Oliver's
kid
Oliver's British, although
his wife was in the army.
Oliver's
British
although
his
wife
was
in
the
army
But Oliver-- I'm sure there's
enough pasty Brit in the kid
But
Oliver-
I'm
sure
there's
enough
pasty
Brit
in
the
kid
that I could take him.
that
I
could
take
him
Sure, you could.
Sure
you
could
Of course you could.
Of
course
you
could
You go after his teeth.
You
go
after
his
teeth
They're weak.
They're
weak
They're weak teeth.
They're
weak
teeth
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh
I'm
sorry
Too soon?
Too
soon
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
I've got a British mother,
so I can go after the teeth.
I've
got
a
British
mother
so
I
can
go
after
the
teeth
JON STEWART: Do you really?
- I do.
JON
STEWART:
Do
you
really
I
do
JON STEWART: Oh,
that's interesting.
JON
STEWART:
Oh
that's
interesting
Yeah.
Let's talk about that.
Yeah
Let's
talk
about
that
- With the accent?
- Huh?
With
the
accent
Huh
She's got the accent,
but I don't hear it
She's
got
the
accent
but
I
don't
hear
it
because it's been all my life.
because
it's
been
all
my
life
Did you ever--
Did
you
ever-
did you have that at all
when you were growing up?
did
you
have
that
at
all
when
you
were
growing
up
A British accent?
A
British
accent
No.
No
I did say "any-thin"
for a long time.
I
did
say
any-thin
for
a
long
time
That's not an accent.
That's just--
That's
not
an
accent
That's
just-
No but--
No
but-
That's just soft palate.
That's
just
soft
palate
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
That's a malformed mouth.
That's
a
malformed
mouth
It's something
I've been working on.
It's
something
I've
been
working
on
Yeah.
Yeah
I'm shaking it now.
I'm
shaking
it
now
But no, she-- she didn't
let me play football.
But
no
she-
she
didn't
let
me
play
football
It was a lot of soccer,
which I enjoyed.
It
was
a
lot
of
soccer
which
I
enjoyed
But yeah, no--
But
yeah
no-
How did Dad and Mom--
how did that--
How
did
Dad
and
Mom-
how
did
that-
is Dad a Los Angeles guy?
is
Dad
a
Los
Angeles
guy
Is he an Angeleno?
Is
he
an
Angeleno
At the time he was doing
it, he was a New York guy,
At
the
time
he
was
doing
it
he
was
a
New
York
guy
and Mom was based
in New York as a flight
and
Mom
was
based
in
New
York
as
a
flight
attendant for Pan Am.
attendant
for
Pan
Am
And he heard that--
And
he
heard
that-
JON STEWART: What,
they meet in the '40s?
JON
STEWART:
What
they
meet
in
the
'40s
What are we talking about here?
What
are
we
talking
about
here
It was-- it was a bit ago.
It
was-
it
was
a
bit
ago
So she was-- they
used to call them
So
she
was-
they
used
to
call
them
stewardesses back in the day.
stewardesses
back
in
the
day
They met while
smoking Chesterfields.
They
met
while
smoking
Chesterfields
Yeah.
Yeah
He and his buddy heard about--
heard about a stewardess
He
and
his
buddy
heard
about-
heard
about
a
stewardess
party over there in--
party
over
there
in-
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
--the Lower East Side.
-the
Lower
East
Side
And they went ahead and put
on them smart outfits.
And
they
went
ahead
and
put
on
them
smart
outfits
So they went down.
So
they
went
down
They did the Lindy Hop
over at The Palace.
They
did
the
Lindy
Hop
over
at
The
Palace
And they both got
married out of that party.
And
they
both
got
married
out
of
that
party
Oh, wait, for real,
they went to--
Oh
wait
for
real
they
went
to-
Yeah yeah.
Yeah
yeah
Yeah, found themselves
a couple of stewardesses.
Yeah
found
themselves
a
couple
of
stewardesses
And wait, and the other guy
married a stewardess as well?
And
wait
and
the
other
guy
married
a
stewardess
as
well
Yeah.
Yeah
Also from England?
Also
from
England
No, I believe she
was from Queens.
No
I
believe
she
was
from
Queens
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
My dad picked first.
My
dad
picked
first
And--
And-
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
This is how they did
it back then, you guys.
This
is
how
they
did
it
back
then
you
guys
So I hear.
It's a coin flip.
So
I
hear
It's
a
coin
flip
And those are the kind
of themes that bring
And
those
are
the
kind
of
themes
that
bring
us back to DTF St. Louis.
us
back
to
DTF
St
Louis
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
It really is such a good show.
It
really
is
such
a
good
show
And here's the thing
about the show.
And
here's
the
thing
about
the
show
I had no idea how funny
it was going to be,
I
had
no
idea
how
funny
it
was
going
to
be
to be honest with you.
to
be
honest
with
you
It's sneaky funny.
It's
sneaky
funny
It's very awkward.
It's
very
awkward
And it's cringey,
uncomfortable.
And
it's
cringey
uncomfortable
David Harbour.
David
Harbour
Steve Conrad, the guy who
wrote every single piece--
Steve
Conrad
the
guy
who
wrote
every
single
piece-
Oh, is that true, one guy?
Oh
is
that
true
one
guy
David Conrad wrote
all the scripts
David
Conrad
wrote
all
the
scripts
and directed every episode.
I mean--
and
directed
every
episode
I
mean-
JON STEWART: And Linda
Cardellini also--
JON
STEWART:
And
Linda
Cardellini
also-
Oh incredible.
Oh
incredible
She does it--
what did she say?
She
does
it-
what
did
she
say
No sir.
Oh boy.
No
sir
Oh
boy
Oh, oh.
No way, Jose.
Oh
oh
No
way
Jose
No way, Jose.
No
way
Jose
Yeah, says "wow" a lot too.
Yeah
says
wow
a
lot
too
Says wow and no way,
Jose, like when she's being
Says
wow
and
no
way
Jose
like
when
she's
being
interrogated by the police.
interrogated
by
the
police
No way, Jose.
No
way
Jose
It's so good.
- You got to see it.
It's
so
good
You
got
to
see
it
In context, it's just--
In
context
it's
just-
Is he going to do more?
Is
he
going
to
do
more
Like, is it like, DTF,
all different cities?
Like
is
it
like
DTF
all
different
cities
That would be great.
That
would
be
great
I am not at liberty
to confirm or deny, but--
I
am
not
at
liberty
to
confirm
or
deny
but-
JON STEWART: So he's doing it.
JON
STEWART:
So
he's
doing
it
You-- see, this is why I
lost my job at the government.
You-
see
this
is
why
I
lost
my
job
at
the
government
[LAUGHTER]
LAUGHTER
Didn't have it.
It's so good to see you.
Didn't
have
it
It's
so
good
to
see
you
You're the best.
You're
the
best
You're the best.
You're
the
best
DTF St. Louis, streaming
now on HBO Max.
DTF
St
Louis
streaming
now
on
HBO
Max
Black Rabbit on Netflix.
Black
Rabbit
on
Netflix
Jason Bateman.
Jason
Bateman
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