Watch and Learn - Jon Sniffs Out GOP's Hypocrisy on War, Free Speech, Gun Violence & Disaster Relief

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Early Saturday morning, American and

Early Saturday morning American and

Israel launched a surprise war against

Iran. I call a surprise war because

Iran I call a surprise war because

here's what one of the mediators said

after negotiations on Friday. I am

after negotiations on Friday I am

confident and in my assessment of the

way the talks are going, the peace deal

way the talks are going the peace deal

is within our reach. Oh, the peace deal

is within our reach Oh the peace deal

is within reach. But it turns out the

is within reach But it turns out the

bombshit button was much closer.

bombshit button was much closer

This is Trump's America. Maybe I'm

This is Trump's America Maybe I'm

oldfashioned, but even regimes I

oldfashioned but even regimes I

disagreed with respected the American

people enough or felt some obligation to

at least lie to us in prime time. Did

at least lie to us in prime time Did

anybody get filled in on this? An

anybody get filled in on this An

Israeli military official I spoke to

told me that there were thousands of

hours of planning between US and Israeli

military officials.

military officials

Oh, anything for the bombing buddy BB.

Oh anything for the bombing buddy BB

You told Israel more than you told us.

You told Israel more than you told us

But like giving a hand job on your

birthright trip, it was a secret that

birthright trip it was a secret that

stayed in Israel.

stayed in Israel

Yeah. Yeah, they did it. They know

Yeah Yeah they did it They know

on the bus under the blanket. They know.

on the bus under the blanket They know

But all this parsing is meaningless in

the first place. We can expose their

the first place We can expose their

hypocrisy and contradictions and

arrogance till we're blue in the

Congress. The right doesn't care. They

Congress The right doesn't care They

supported Trump for a very particular

reason.

reason

A vote for Kla Harris is a vote for war.

A vote for Kla Harris is a vote for war

A vote for Donald Trump is a vote for a

man who wants to end wars.

man who wants to end wars

The president has a commitment uh to

peace frankly unlike anything we have

seen. He is the the great dealmaker, the

seen He is the the great dealmaker the

art of the deal. He can negotiate the

art of the deal He can negotiate the

end of wars around the world.

end of wars around the world

He is America's dealmaker and chief. He

He is America's dealmaker and chief He

leads from a position of securing peace

through strength.

through strength

That's why they voted for him. doctrine,

That's why they voted for him doctrine

peace through strength.

peace through strength

And now they support Trump for a very

different reason.

different reason

The president's not afraid to take

action with hard power when necessary.

action with hard power when necessary

We have a president that has finally

shown the strength and boldness that is

needed.

needed

The Iranian government found out what

the Trump doctrine is all about, and

the Trump doctrine is all about and

that is mess around and find out.

that is mess around and find out

Donald Trump has the guts, the balls,

Donald Trump has the guts the balls

and the vision to do things that nobody

else will do.

else will do

I'm going to leave the balls thing alone

for now.

for now

But how quickly the right has gone from

peace through strength to peace through

war. And we're all just along for the

war And we're all just along for the

ride in a war with no clear purpose, no

ride in a war with no clear purpose no

end in sight. It's all just at the whims

end in sight It's all just at the whims

of Donald Trump. You know, you know what

of Donald Trump You know you know what

I need right now? My comfort monkey. I

I need right now My comfort monkey I

need my comfort monkey.

need my comfort monkey

It actually worked. You know,

It actually worked You know

I went after poor Punch pretty hard last

week.

week

Said some things,

Said some things

but I get it now. This does help a lot.

but I get it now This does help a lot

By the way, it was crazy. They were sold

By the way it was crazy They were sold

out. Uh, and this might get me in a

out Uh and this might get me in a

little bit of trouble. I had to go to

little bit of trouble I had to go to

Ichiawa and take this from Punch.

Ichiawa and take this from Punch

I'm talking about the debate on free

speech. Now, as we know, conservatives

speech Now as we know conservatives

have been very concerned about the loss

of free speech in our country for a very

long time.

long time

Bullies on the left aiming to silence

conservatives. Free speech is under

conservatives Free speech is under

siege in this country.

siege in this country

The leftists, they they become the

The leftists they they become the

thought police. They basically declare

thought police They basically declare

themselves God and judge us for our

thoughts.

thoughts

George Orwell was right.

George Orwell was right

The thought police come next to punish

thought crime. Be very very scared.

thought crime Be very very scared

I am

perhaps not for the reasons you

are. The thought police with you right

are The thought police with you right

now, Junior?

now Junior

Are they in the bottle?

Are they in the bottle

But luckily, our national free speech

But luckily our national free speech

nightmare recently came to an end when

we entered the golden age of Donald

Jehoshaphat for Trump.

Jehoshaphat for Trump

We have saved free speech in America and

we've saved it strongly. Free speech in

we've saved it strongly Free speech in

America is back.

America is back

Thank God we have a president now who

believes in free speech. Yes.

believes in free speech Yes

Thank God

we have a president now who believes in

free. Just go ahead. Roll through 12.

free Just go ahead Roll through 12

I believe that CNN and MSDNC what they

do is illegal.

do is illegal

I think CBS should lose its license, but

I think CBS should lose its license but

I think ABC should lose its license also

because of what they've done. I watched

because of what they've done I watched

what happened live.

what happened live

I think Bravo should also lose their

license.

license

what they did to Darinda on traders.

what they did to Darinda on traders

They

should be sent to a Salvadorian aloe.

should be sent to a Salvadorian aloe

This is what I'm talking about.

This is what I'm talking about

Generally, you've got to search the

Generally you've got to search the

archives for contradictions on one's

stated principles, dig through policy

stated principles dig through policy

papers to uncover private actions that

are undermined by someone's public

stance. But this is so this is so

stance But this is so this is so

blatant. I can't wrap my head around it.

blatant I can't wrap my head around it

It's not even the hypocrisy. It's that

It's not even the hypocrisy It's that

they so

fetishize

free speech. This thing that they do not

free speech This thing that they do not

in any way actually practice. The

in any way actually practice The

freedom to speak our minds and express

the truth. That is our

the truth That is our

heart. Really, that's really a big chunk

heart Really that's really a big chunk

of our heart.

of our heart

Any

cardiologist will tell you

hearts come in chunks.

hearts come in chunks

Blood comes into the aorta to the right

ventricle, passes through your speech

ventricle passes through your speech

chunk.

chunk

But since coming into office, Trump and

But since coming into office Trump and

the Republicans have instituted policies

that are a dagger right through many

people's speech chunks.

people's speech chunks

The White House has barred the

Associated Press from presidential

events because the AP has refused to

rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of

America in its style book.

America in its style book

And in a dramatic escalation against the

American legal system, Trump this

American legal system Trump this

weekend directed his government to

target law firms battling his actions.

target law firms battling his actions

Federal immigration officials arrested a

Palestinian activist who helped lead

last year's student encampment protest

at Colombia.

at Colombia

I think we ought to get them all out of

the country. They're troublemakers.

the country They're troublemakers

They're agitators. They don't love our

They're agitators They don't love our

country.

country

My chunks.

My chunks

My precious chunks. My lovely lady

My precious chunks My lovely lady

chunks.

chunks

My chunks. My chunks. My lovely lady.

My chunks My chunks My lovely lady

You're making my paranneeium tingle.

You're making my paranneeium tingle

Here's the thing. these attacks on free

Here's the thing these attacks on free

speech, especially the one where they

speech especially the one where they

deported that activist. If there's one

deported that activist If there's one

thing that I know about the powerful

principles at our higher education

institutions, they will not be bullied

institutions they will not be bullied

by a roll 212.

by a roll 212

Columbia University is bowing to

President Trump's demands, announcing it

President Trump's demands announcing it

will change a number of policies. is

will change a number of policies is

among them placing the school's Middle

Eastern, South Asian, and African

Eastern South Asian and African

studies department under academic

receiverhip for at least 5 years. Some

receiverhip for at least 5 years Some

students protested the war in Gaza.

students protested the war in Gaza

Suddenly a whole academic department is

on double secret probation with

government oversight. And by the way,

government oversight And by the way

okay, Middle East part, African studies,

okay Middle East part African studies

what did they do?

what did they do

Sure. African studies professors like I

Sure African studies professors like I

teach intermediate swuahili.

teach intermediate swuahili

See these guys don't give a about free

speech. They care about their speech.

speech They care about their speech

It's so blatant hypocrisy. It's so old

It's so blatant hypocrisy It's so old

school Daily Show. Gotcha. I You know

school Daily Show Gotcha I You know

what? I'm just going to put on the wig I

what I'm just going to put on the wig I

used to wear during those years.

used to wear during those years

because the hypocrisy is just so here's

Donald Trump on those who would

criticize judges that he has appointed.

criticize judges that he has appointed

A lot of the judges that I had if you

look at them they take tremendous abuse

and it's uh truly interference in my

opinion and it should be illegal and it

probably is illegal in some form.

probably is illegal in some form

Yes, criticizing judges it is

Yes criticizing judges it is

interference. It should be illegal.

interference It should be illegal

Tremendous abuse. And 4 days later, not

Tremendous abuse And 4 days later not

four days later, not a full French work

four days later not a full French work

week later.

week later

President Donald Trump just took to True

Social and deemed this judge responding

to this uh decision here, calling him a

to this uh decision here calling him a

radical left lunatic of a judge a

troublemaker and agitator who was sadly

appointed by Barack Hussein Obama. He

appointed by Barack Hussein Obama He

says this judge should be impeached.

says this judge should be impeached

hypocrisy.

hypocrisy

It burns.

It burns

And are we really still doing the Barack

Hussein Obama thing? Oh, free Harambe.

Hussein Obama thing Oh free Harambe

Come on, people.

Come on people

You

see what was the whole thing that they

hated about the left on free speech?

hated about the left on free speech

No one is safe from the left's word

police.

police

No one. What exactly would an actual

No one What exactly would an actual

government-run word police organization

look like?

look like

The Trump administration is actively

trying to purge the federal government

of so-called woke initiatives.

of so-called woke initiatives

Government agencies have flagged

hundreds of words to limit or avoid.

hundreds of words to limit or avoid

Words like DEI, bipac, anti-racism,

Words like DEI bipac anti-racism

Latin X, Native American, black, women,

Latin X Native American black women

seemingly random words like expression,

seemingly random words like expression

at risk, political, and even mental

at risk political and even mental

health and sex.

health and sex

What's left?

What's left

Bipok and Latin X. I get that.

Bipok and Latin X I get that

You're not allowed to say sex.

You're not allowed to say sex

You can't say words like women or sex

or hashtagme too.

or hashtagme too

How can a lot of your cabinet members

describe their weekends?

describe their weekends

You know, you can't protest in a way

You know you can't protest in a way

that

you can't protest in a way that offends

the right. You can't teach things that

the right You can't teach things that

the right doesn't want you to teach. You

the right doesn't want you to teach You

can't read things that they don't want

you to read. You can't use words that

you to read You can't use words that

they don't want you to use, but they

they don't want you to use but they

love free speech.

love free speech

I guess fear not. At least we'll always

I guess fear not At least we'll always

have art. President Trump demanding a

have art President Trump demanding a

painting of him be removed because he

finds it unflattering.

finds it unflattering

He's demanding they take it down because

he believes this picture is

unflattering.

unflattering

Which really makes you think, do you

Which really makes you think do you

think other pictures of you are

flattering?

flattering

At least in the painting, they blended

At least in the painting they blended

the foundation into your hair.

the foundation into your hair

Minnesota was the site of horrible

violence where a state house leader and

her husband were killed. A state senator

her husband were killed A state senator

and his wife were shot. The only

and his wife were shot The only

positive is that the person who

perpetrated these acts has finally been

caught.

caught

Finally.

Finally

But what I was really struck by is what

seemed to be on everybody's mind in the

midst of this horror.

midst of this horror

This morning a lot of questions remain

like what was his motive?

like what was his motive

Why a motive? Why did he do this?

Why a motive Why did he do this

When do we learn about motive?

When do we learn about motive

Everyone wants to know why. Bill,

Everyone wants to know why Bill

his roommate, he says that the suspect

his roommate he says that the suspect

was a Trump supporter.

was a Trump supporter

This is a Tim Waltz appointee. This is a

This is a Tim Waltz appointee This is a

Democrat.

Democrat

I'm going to be honest and I I truly

mean this. I I mean no disrespect.

mean this I I mean no disrespect

I don't give a why this person did

it. I just don't give a I don't care.

it I just don't give a I don't care

I don't care whose team he's on. I don't

I don't care whose team he's on I don't

care if he listens to NPR or Fox News. I

care if he listens to NPR or Fox News I

don't give a flying

What blows my mind is our resignation in

the aftermath of this nonsense. What are

the aftermath of this nonsense What are

you gonna do? I don't know. Put a

you gonna do I don't know Put a

ton of funding into mental health

funding. Put a ton of money into

funding Put a ton of money into

illegal weapons interdiction. Maybe that

illegal weapons interdiction Maybe that

chip maybe maybe the uh what do you call

it there?

it there

Maybe maybe the chip that Bill Gates had

injected in all of us during COVID could

have a self-destruct button.

have a self-destruct button

take people out before they do this

For God's sakes, can't we do that?

For God's sakes can't we do that

GrubHub knows when I want pizza.

GrubHub knows when I want pizza

You don't think GrubHub doesn't know

when people are getting murderous?

when people are getting murderous

What's the difference between hungry and

angry? What's the difference?

angry What's the difference

We're willing to do things about other

issues.

issues

We just heard about it. Why are they

We just heard about it Why are they

attacking Los Angeles right now? Why is

attacking Los Angeles right now Why is

the right so willing to tear our cities

apart in this moment?

apart in this moment

Dangerous criminals continue to flood

our nation and kill our citizens.

our nation and kill our citizens

This has to stop. I mean, I think about

This has to stop I mean I think about

it for my grandkids. I mean, how safe

it for my grandkids I mean how safe

are they in this society?

are they in this society

One woman or one child violated by an

illegal alien is one too many.

illegal alien is one too many

The alarm bells were going off a long

time ago. A lot of Democrats will defend

time ago A lot of Democrats will defend

this and say, "Well, you know, it's such

this and say Well you know it's such

a small percentage. They have blood on

a small percentage They have blood on

their hands. Pure and simple. One is too

their hands Pure and simple One is too

many.

many

One is too many. One death, by the way.

One is too many One death by the way

True. It is too many. Violence should

True It is too many Violence should

never be accepted. It should never be

never be accepted It should never be

tolerated.

tolerated

But that's for their issue. in the wake

But that's for their issue in the wake

of of Sandy Hook and Yuvaldi and

Parkland and El Paso and Lewon and

Aurora and Buffalo and Boulder and

Bingmpington and Highland Park and

Monterey Park and San Bernardino and San

Jose and San Francisco and the Pulse

nightclub and the Colorado Springs

nightclub and the Little Rock Club and

the Borderline Bar in Thousand Oaks. and

the Borderline Bar in Thousand Oaks and

the Ned Peppers Bar in Dayton and the

Waffle House in Nashville and Virginia

Tech and UVA and MSU and UCSB and FSU

and NIU and SMC and the Southerntherland

Springs Church and the Mother Emanuel

Church in Charleston and the Living

Church of God and the Tree of Life

Synagogue and the Allen Mall and the

Westroads Mall and Fort Hood and Loheed

Martin and what are we doing?

Martin and what are we doing

What are we doing?

What are we doing

By the way, by the way, that is a wildly

By the way by the way that is a wildly

incomplete list. We kept it to the last

incomplete list We kept it to the last

25 years and it's still not everything.

25 years and it's still not everything

And what's their response to all that?

And what's their response to all that

They're doing the same thing that they

always do after there's a mass shooting.

always do after there's a mass shooting

They they politicize it.

They they politicize it

The issue is not with the Second

Amendment. Guns aren't the problem. Does

Amendment Guns aren't the problem Does

a gun commit crime? Democrats want to

a gun commit crime Democrats want to

take away your guns. They don't want to

take away your guns They don't want to

solve problems.

solve problems

Turns out when it comes to mass

shootings, one's not too many. Actually,

shootings one's not too many Actually

a shitload isn't too many. And by the

a shitload isn't too many And by the

way, you can say Second Amendment all

way you can say Second Amendment all

you want, but you definitely don't seem

you want but you definitely don't seem

to mind throwing out the Constitution

when it comes to deportation. And I am

when it comes to deportation And I am

legitimately asking this question. This

legitimately asking this question This

is truly legitimate. Like

is truly legitimate Like

I know I can be like but like I am

genuinely baffled

why is it when a foreigner or someone

that shouldn't be here kills one of us.

that shouldn't be here kills one of us

We're going to put 150 billion into

border security. We're going to

border security We're going to

militarize our cities. We're going to

militarize our cities We're going to

spend trillions of dollars to bomb and

destabilize foreign countries overseas.

destabilize foreign countries overseas

We're going to ban people from random

countries from evering visiting here.

countries from evering visiting here

We're going to take our shoes off at the

airport forever.

airport forever

But when we do it to ourselves,

But when we do it to ourselves

nothing.

nothing

Is it that the only acceptable deaths

are those that are made in America? Our

are those that are made in America Our

only response now is to tally up the

psycho scoreboard on whose side the perp

belongs to.

belongs to

I honestly would like to know. Like it

I honestly would like to know Like it

makes no sense. It's jarring cognitive

makes no sense It's jarring cognitive

dissonance. This is Senator Mike Lee.

dissonance This is Senator Mike Lee

All right. great state of Utah, which by

All right great state of Utah which by

the way suffered a tragic shooting death

at one of their No Kings events over the

weekend. And just a little backstory, I

weekend And just a little backstory I

have met Senator Lee. He's the best.

have met Senator Lee He's the best

In 2019, when we were trying to get

In 2019 when we were trying to get

permanent reauthorization of the uh uh

Ray Feifer Louis Alvarez Droga Act, we

Ray Feifer Louis Alvarez Droga Act we

met with Senator Mike Lee in his office

uh down in Washington. We had a team of

uh down in Washington We had a team of

uh feel-good foundation and a team of

first responders with us,

first responders with us

firefighters, cops, other people. One of

firefighters cops other people One of

the cops had been in the first tower

when it collapsed. Right. So, all these

when it collapsed Right So all these

first responders are are going around

the table and they are sharing their

stories to try and get Senator Mike Lee

to support this bill that's going to

provide life-saving coverage and money

to the victims of this terrible

terrorist attack and the illnesses they

are suffering uh uh since then.

are suffering uh uh since then

When the one cop says his story about

being in the tower that collapsed and

the aftermath,

the aftermath

when he told Senator Lee about that

experience, Senator Lee smiled

experience Senator Lee smiled

and said, "I bet you've got a lot of

and said I bet you've got a lot of

stories

of of dead of like what spring break?"

of of dead of like what spring break

Like, what are you talking about? We met

Like what are you talking about We met

a lot of people in Washington. Some were

a lot of people in Washington Some were

hopeful some of those meetings. Some

hopeful some of those meetings Some

were upsetting meetings. That was the

were upsetting meetings That was the

only meeting where we all walked out and

looked at each other and went, "What the

looked at each other and went What the

is wrong with that guy?" The only one.

is wrong with that guy The only one

I say this for context,

I say this for context

for why I use Senator Lee as the avatar

for the insanity of this moment.

for the insanity of this moment

Here he is on the Senate floor talking

about why he is for these uh you could

call draconian immigration policies. The

call draconian immigration policies The

tragic case of Lake Riley, a life cut

tragic case of Lake Riley a life cut

short by an illegal alien. Her case

short by an illegal alien Her case

represents hundreds of thousands

of families across this nation whose

lives have been upended by the invasion

that our leaders allowed to happen.

that our leaders allowed to happen

Now, look, he's right to be upset at our

Now look he's right to be upset at our

leaders for allowing unsafe conditions

to happen. That's fine. Here's Mike Lee

to happen That's fine Here's Mike Lee

tweeting this weekend about the

assassination of a Democratic legislator

and her husband

just hours after we all learned about

this tragedy.

this tragedy

Republican Senator Mike Lee of Utah

posted a picture of the suspect at the

door of one of the lawmakers with the

caption, "This is what happens when

caption This is what happens when

Marxists don't get their way."

Marxists don't get their way

And by the way, he didn't just post

And by the way he didn't just post

that. He didn't just post that. He

that He didn't just post that He

pinned that to the top of whatever the

it is that you pin stuff on on Twitter,

it is that you pin stuff on on Twitter

your Twitter refrigerator to show off

your Twitter work.

your Twitter work

And then to let all of us know that that

is not the depth of his depravity, that

is not the depth of his depravity that

he can go deeper, he posted this.

he can go deeper he posted this

The senator posted another picture with

a caption, "Nightmare on Wall Street,"

a caption Nightmare on Wall Street

mocking, of course, the name of the

mocking of course the name of the

Minnesota governor. Okay, first of all,

Minnesota governor Okay first of all

Elm Street to Wall Street

is a shitty pun. As a comedian, I must

is a shitty pun As a comedian I must

object.

object

You've got Wolf of Wall Street just

sitting there.

sitting there

And second, I truly want to know why in

And second I truly want to know why in

his mind one death the hands of an

immigrant is worth $150 billion of

immigrant is worth 150 billion of

border security, a militarization of

border security a militarization of

American cities. Well, just the blue

American cities Well just the blue

cities. I know the undocumented

cities I know the undocumented

immigrants in red state fields are the

good ones now. Suddenly that and I guess

good ones now Suddenly that and I guess

Mara Lago hospitality workers, but I

Mara Lago hospitality workers but I

want to know

why those deaths in Minnesota are worth

only a night of edge lord posting.

only a night of edge lord posting

No billions for mental health, no

No billions for mental health no

stopping illegal weapons trafficking, no

stopping illegal weapons trafficking no

nothing. We should ask him why. I bet

nothing We should ask him why I bet

he's got some stories to tell.

he's got some stories to tell

Trump is going to troll. The problem now

Trump is going to troll The problem now

is Republicans appear to want to attach

their I told you so as a condition of

funding California's disaster relief.

funding California's disaster relief

I expect that there will be strings

attached to money that is ultimately

approved.

approved

I think there should probably be

conditions on that date. That's my

conditions on that date That's my

personal view.

personal view

Before we put funds funds into place,

Before we put funds funds into place

we've got to find out uh exactly how

we're going to hold these leaders

accountable and what sort of policy

changes are required. There can't be a

changes are required There can't be a

blank check on this.

blank check on this

They don't deserve anything to be honest

with you. Unless they show us they're

with you Unless they show us they're

going to make some changes.

going to make some changes

What the is wrong with you? Really,

What the is wrong with you Really

Senator from Alabama,

Senator from Alabama

the state near the bottom in math,

the state near the bottom in math

reading, and test scores. Next time you

reading and test scores Next time you

get hit by a hurricane, why don't we

get hit by a hurricane why don't we

have a little parent teacher conference

to see that if you got your scores up,

to see that if you got your scores up

you would get the money. or actually

you would get the money or actually

let's not do it cuz you'll get the money

anyway cuz we're not psychos. That is

anyway cuz we're not psychos That is

psychotic. There's something wrong with

psychotic There's something wrong with

you.

you

And you know what? And here's the thing.

And you know what And here's the thing

I can do the Daily Show thing. I can run

I can do the Daily Show thing I can run

down all the Congress people and

senators on the right calling for

conditions on disaster aid that

absolutely had the opposite view when it

was their state on the line.

was their state on the line

We need to do everything we can. We have

We need to do everything we can We have

citizens that are literally going to get

worse by the day.

worse by the day

Shut the up because

I could do it, but it doesn't even

I could do it but it doesn't even

matter. I'm not even going to do it

matter I'm not even going to do it

because red states are always the tragic

victims of circumstance outside of their

control. And Democrats always vote for

control And Democrats always vote for

their aid, whereas blue state disasters

their aid whereas blue state disasters

are a function of their flawed morality

and policy. And if we help blue state

and policy And if we help blue state

survivors, well, what message will that

survivors well what message will that

send? What lesson will they learn? But

send What lesson will they learn But

fine, if strings must be attached, what

fine if strings must be attached what

be the strings?

be the strings

The problem with California is forestry

management.

management

Oh yeah, it's true. I didn't It's true.

Oh yeah it's true I didn't It's true

The management of the forest. You have

The management of the forest You have

to rake the leaves. And

to rake the leaves And

shut down the illegal elf tree cookie

factory. It's a I understand. And and

factory It's a I understand And and

what a great utterly anodine suggestion.

what a great utterly anodine suggestion

I mean, what forest couldn't be managed

I mean what forest couldn't be managed

better? I mean, if you've been to a

better I mean if you've been to a

forest lately, it's chaos. It's chaos in

forest lately it's chaos It's chaos in

the dirt and leaves and and what is

that? Bear I'm sure.

that Bear I'm sure

I want to see the manager.

I want to see the manager

Okay. Uh, so we get the money if we have

Okay Uh so we get the money if we have

better forest uh, management. Everybody

better forest uh management Everybody

then gets food and clothes. What else?

then gets food and clothes What else

They've not done the necessary work to

make sure there's fresh water flowing

into key areas.

into key areas

Oh, water.

Oh water

Yeah. No question. No question. Water

Yeah No question No question Water

for the fire.

for the fire

Ah, I'm going to get that message to the

Ah I'm going to get that message to the

firefighters. Tootsweet.

firefighters Tootsweet

Water is so important. Water is a

Water is so important Water is a

terrific fire. I don't even want to say

terrific fire I don't even want to say

the R word. I But I but as I always say,

the R word I But I but as I always say

what do you got there, mister? A fire.

what do you got there mister A fire

Nothing like water.

Nothing like water

Water works on all kinds of fire except

for one kind of fire, but I don't know

for one kind of fire but I don't know

which one that is. But odds are with

which one that is But odds are with

you.

you

Point taken. But forest management and

Point taken But forest management and

and get some water up here and then your

children may have blankets. Um these are

children may have blankets Um these are

all great pointers on how to mitigate

fires and I'm sure California has

absolutely been trying water and forest

management. Maybe not good enough, but

management Maybe not good enough but

they they have it. There's one thing you

they they have it There's one thing you

might not be considering uh as you

criticize them, and that's this. Um, I

criticize them and that's this Um I

don't know what kind of a system you can

develop that completely mitigates the

risk of fire plus drought conditions

plus 60 to 80 mph winds plus delicious

wood. Look at this. Look what's

wood Look at this Look what's

happening right there. Do you see this

happening right there Do you see this

fire a tornado?

fire a tornado

Rake your way out of that.

Rake your way out of that

You understand?

You understand

I love the blame game. I love the blame

I love the blame game I love the blame

game. I play it all the time. But the

game I play it all the time But the

fires aren't out. And the fire the

fires aren't out And the fire the

tornado.

tornado

The only thing that would stop that is

the absence of oxygen, which if I'm

the absence of oxygen which if I'm

being honest, we could do. Hear me out.

being honest we could do Hear me out

There's something something called a

cloch.

cloch

A cloch is a covering. You've probably

A cloch is a covering You've probably

seen it in pie shops. You can put a

seen it in pie shops You can put a

cloch.

cloch

Now, if I just very quickly guys, that's

Now if I just very quickly guys that's

the continental size cloch that we had

on a previous program suggested for

immigration reform. We We need a a

immigration reform We We need a a

little more casual. Guys, can you check

little more casual Guys can you check

on the sideboard behind the gravy frig?

on the sideboard behind the gravy frig

It's not If it's not there, it's under

It's not If it's not there it's under

the sink. The California That's it. The

the sink The California That's it The

California

airtight.

airtight

It's the best way to smother a Los

Angeles-sized fire. And if you live in

Angeles-sized fire And if you live in

New Jersey, keep a a pie fresh in a

New Jersey keep a a pie fresh in a

diner for 8 to nine years.

diner for 8 to nine years

The the cloch I am going to make cloch

happen

years from now.

years from now

Then I'm going to get a hat that says

don't steward was writing about

everything.

everything

Hey, all you idiots are dead. Told you

Hey all you idiots are dead Told you

so.

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