But you know what? Just let Trump do
his
rallies where he's in his element. He
prefers it, I prefer it, and I'm pretty
sure most of the press pool at the White
House prefers it because it hasn't been
a good time over there lately,
especially for the female reporters.
>>
President Donald Trump has gone on a
full rampage recently berating and
insulting female reporters.
>>
You are an obnoxious
a terrible, actually a terrible
reporter. It's not the question that I
mind, it's your attitude. The way you
ask a question with the anger and the
meanness
is terrible. Argentina's fighting for
its life, young lady. You don't know
anything about it. Are you stupid? Are
you a stupid person?
>>
You know nothing about nothing.
>>
Quiet. You're really obnoxious. You
don't listen. You never listen. That's
why you're second rate.
>>
I don't even want to take a question.
It's always the
>>
You're totally unprepared.
>>
You ought to go back and learn how to be
a reporter. They took a cognitive test
and I aced it. I got a perfect mark,
which you would be incapable of doing.
Goodbye, everybody. YOU, TOO.
>>
MR. TRUMP, JUST QUICK FOLLOW-UP.
What the IS YOUR PROBLEM?
GOD.
THIS GUY IS EXHAUSTING. It's like he
won't stop until he gives every woman in
the country resting Melania face.
Can you just try being nice to a woman
just once?
>>
We even brought our superstar today,
Caroline. When she gets up there with
that beautiful face and those lips that
don't stop pop pop pop like like a
little machine gun.
>>
Never mind, I'll take the insults.
>>
The midterm elections are coming up and
things are not looking good for my boy
Donald Trump. His approval rating is in
the toilet and Democrats have been over
performing in every special election
since he took office. Last week, they
won an election in deep red Texas by 14
points.
YEAH.
SO, LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR LEE WANGANS.
LET'S HEAR IT LEE WANGANS.
OKAY, JUST SO YOU KNOW, LEE Wangans was
the Republican, you idiots.
Good job following the news.
But still, if Trump wants to avoid a
blowout in the midterms, he's going to
have to do something. Well, he could
change his policies. He could slow down
the rampant corruption. He could find
less adorable kids to deport, so it's
like, who cares? So,
Mr. President, what's it going to be?
>>
Donald Trump once again floated the idea
of canceling the midterms.
>>
He boasted that he had accomplished so
much that when you think of it, we
shouldn't even have an election.
>>
YIKES.
YIKES. LOOK, I DO GET THE joy of
canceling plans.
Um
no one loves bailing on drinks or a work
dinner or my kids' piano recital more
than me, but
you can't cancel elections. Voting is
the most American thing you can do
besides well, not voting. And and and
and forgive me for being serious for a
moment, but the president suggesting
that he might cancel the midterms
appears to be the inflection point to
what a dictatorship from which our
nation cannot return. This is serious.
>>
The president was was simply joking.
>>
IT WAS A JOKE.
FORGET IT, IT WAS A JOKE. PHEW, that is
a relief. Oh my god.
I guess I was worried that it wasn't a
joke because it's a little unusual for a
president to joke about canceling an
election. And also, this particular
president actually did try to overturn
an election.
So, I guess I don't get the joke?
Can someone in the press corps please
ask the White House what was funny about
this?
>>
Are you saying that the president finds
the idea of canceling elections funny?
>>
Andrew, were you in the room? No, you
weren't. I was in the room. I heard the
conversation.
>>
Uh,
okay.
It was a you had to be there thing?
But none of us be there?
If I was in the room, then I would have
gotten it from his tone.
It's like when Chris Rock tells a joke
about black people, it works in the
room, but it doesn't work later when
Stephen Miller retells it at a CLAN
MEETING.
BUT
BUT THIS IS
This is why WE HAVE A PRESS TO HOLD
these people accountable. You can't
blame the reporter for asking.
>>
That guy's from the Independent, a
British paper. Such a He is actually a
weenie, and I hope that gets back to
him.
>>
That guy is such a nerd.
People like that, I mean, that's why we
hate the media. They're just nerds.
Lighten up.
>>
Yeah.
What a nerd.
It's okay, I've learned my lesson. The
president was just joking about this
election stuff, and I'm A COOL GUY. I
GET JOKES. SO, I'm going to take all
this much less seriously.
>>
This morning, President Trump trying to
exert more control over the nation's
elections, saying Republicans should,
quote, take over the voting.
>>
Uh, OKAY. OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY, THIS sounds scary, but I know now
it's probably just another hilarious
joke.
Let's take over the elections.
I'm going to cancel the midterms.
I'm going to BE PRESIDENT FOREVER.
I BET ONCE YOU HEAR HIM ACTUALLY say it,
we'll get how funny it is.
>>
The Republicans should say, "We want to
take over. We should take over the
voting the voting in at least
many 15 places. The Republicans ought to
nationalize the voting."
>>
This all looks and sounds pretty bad. If
Trump does even half the things he's
saying, our democracy will be less
recognizable than the lineup of the
TPUSA HALFTIME SHOW.
DON'T MAKE
DON'T MAKE ME USE IT AGAIN.
THE ONLY THING THAT'S GIVING me solace
so far is that this is just talk, okay?
If Trump was really going to meddle with
the midterms, he'd be laying the
groundwork by manufacturing evidence
that there's widespread election fraud,
and he's not doing that, right?
Right?
Right?
>>
Happening now, the FBI has seized all of
the 2020 election ballots from Fulton
County, Georgia. It's part of the
Justice Department's effort to look for
alleged voter fraud. President Trump
keeps pushing this baseless claim that
the 2020 election was stolen.
>>
Holy Two things. First of all,
Trump, you got to get over 2020, man. I
mean, 2020 is over. You don't see the
rest of us being grateful for essential
workers anymore. MOVE ON.
AND SECONDLY, I THINK IT'S pretty clear
that Trump is not joking about meddling
in the election this year. And the only
way we can prevent it is if everyone
stands up to stop him, especially
Republicans. I'm talking Mike Johnson,
Lindsey Graham,
Gabby Barrett, Brently Gilbert, Burt
Gutman, Gunk Butters, Griff Bortman, and
of course Brickley Gobblebottom. God, I
cannot wait FOR THIS HALFTIME SHOW. OH
MY GOD!
>>
BUT OBVIOUSLY, THEY'RE NOT GOING TO HOLD
DONALD TRUMP in for a deposition because
as you'll remember
>>
I've been totally exonerated on Epstein.
>>
That's right.
That's right. All the relevant All of
the relevant files have come out.
There's nothing incriminating about
Trump, and that's what all the files,
which we've all seen Olive, have all
said.
So, I guess case closed. Nothing else to
see here.
>>
The DOJ's release of the Epstein files
is missing some very important and
potentially explosive materials. As Emma
S. Now reports, quote, "The Justice
Department has withheld notes and memos
reflecting FBI interviews from its
release of the Epstein files."
>>
Materials about an unproven sexual
assault accusation against President
Trump.
>>
Huh.
That's strange. Trump's DOJ did that?
The same DOJ that promised to release
the Epstein files and then gave
influencers binders filled with old
documents, and they wouldn't release
more so Congress had to pass a law
saying that they had to, but they still
missed the deadline to release the
files, and then when they finally did,
the files were riddled with sketchy
redactions. That DOJ?
Nah, I can't see it.
I don't think so.
>>
And once again, the big story is Donald
Trump absolutely stomping on disloyal
Republicans like Godzilla with slightly
thicker ankles.
>>
Another round of retaliation for
President Trump. He has helped unseat
one of his most prominent Republican
critics on the Hill, Congressman Thomas
Massie, who spearheaded the law forcing
the release of the Epstein files.
>>
Yeah, that'll teach you to try to expose
pedophiles.
What is going on here? Releasing the
Epstein files didn't put anyone in
prison. The guy who got the Epstein
files released got voted out. And
meanwhile, the Michael Jackson movie
made $300 MILLION.
AH!
IS IS AMERICA pro-pedophile now?
Jeffrey, you killed YOURSELF TOO EARLY.
>>
YOU'VE BEEN FILLING UP YOUR TANK THESE
PAST 6 MONTHS. Probably feeling like gas
prices are high. WELL, JOKES ON YOU.
>>
HOW MUCH LONGER WILL AMERICANS continue
to see these high gas prices?
>>
Well, they're not very high.
>>
STOP!
YOU THINK THEY'RE HIGH? THEY'RE NOT
HIGH.
They're actually gas-gaslighting us.
And you may say, "Oh, oh." But you know
what? Even Trump can only stave off
reality for so long that the cumulative
effects of high prices and punitive and
chaotic tariffs and reckless wars and
narcissistic self-aggrandizement will
take an inevitable toll that cannot be
denied. And yet, AND YET
THAT'S WELL-MAINTAINED.
>>
Every presidency in a second term, his
poll numbers usually start to decline.
And he starts to weaken.
And
that's happening to you.
>>
No, it's not.
Fake polls. I have great poll numbers.
>>
You have great poll numbers? Sure.
Presidential polls are scored on a scale
of 1 to 30, right?
At 32, you're killing it.
And by the way, where does Trump get the
idea that his policies are having a
positive impact?
>>
I have people coming up to me that have
401(k)s. They said, "You know, I was a
disaster. My family wouldn't talk to me.
They thought I was a total loser."
And now I'm like uh
the one guy said, "I feel like Warren
Buffett."
>>
Oh, I get I see. Trump gets it from
fictional interactions.
From people whose families had cut them
off because of portfolio performance
issues.
I went no contact with my parents
because they're underperforming index
funds
are toxic.
And you may say that you don't know that
these interactions didn't happen. Oh,
but we do, friends. We do. We know by
the way Trump describes the
interactions.
>>
Every day I come to the White House,
people are thanking me. Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
First of all, you don't COME TO THE
WHITE HOUSE. YOU LIVE THERE.
YOU DON'T COME TO THE WHITE HOUSE EVERY
DAY. YOUR commute is stairs.
And anybody you run into works there.
But I'll let you continue describing the
regular folk you run into on your way to
work.
>>
Now, these young beautiful girls, these
young
beautiful girls, these young beautiful
girls in the White House.
>>
WHAT'S WITH THE THREE TIMES?
YOU TRYING TO BEETLEJUICE THIS
TELL US AGAIN.
NO, I I MEAN IT.
TELL US AGAIN.
WHAT DO ALL THE YOUNG beautiful girls
that you run into on your commute to the
White House FROM THE WHITE HOUSE? WHAT
DO THEY tell you?
>>
These gorgeous beautiful girls that you
they want to be safe and they come Mr.
President, may I speak to you? Yes.
Thank you, sir. Thank you. I said, why
are you thanking me? Because a year and
a half ago, I was afraid to leave I was
afraid to open the door of my apartment.
And now I walk to the White House every
morning and I have absolutely no fear.
Thank you, sir.
>>
Well, that is true. I will say it was
pretty chaotic around the White House a
while back. I do remember that.
But Trump he Trump cleaned all that up.
This is fine.
That's another story.
>>
Last night hit the campaign trail in
Nebraska where he promised voters relief
from the high gas prices that some
inflicted on them.
>>
Tonight I'm going to sign a historic
executive order to officially wave the
off-road requirement and allow anyone to
purchase tax-free red dye diesel for any
reason.
>>
Yeah.
Executive order on red dye diesel.
What What's RED DYE DIESEL?
I MEAN I KNOW ALL of those words
individually but not all together. Is
that how they make Fruit Loops? I I
Well, thankfully the president is
signing an executive order about it. So,
he'll explain it to us.
>>
Red dye diesel. Do you know what that
is?
I don't know what the hell it is, but
whatever it is it's supposed to be very
good.
Does anybody want to explain it?
>>
If you're doing this to help us,
shouldn't you at least know what it is?
This feels like a doctor going, "Well, I
finished your vasectomy. By the way,
what do the balls do anyway?"
You know what, Trump? I don't think
getting a discount off red dye diesel is
going to get the country back on your
side. You need to do something like end
the war or regulate AI or stop bringing
back diseases that you could only get on
the Oregon Trail.
Something big.
>>
Donald Trump wants to make daylight
savings permanent.
>>
Sure. Okay.
Daylight saving time. Sometimes I also
start at the bottom of my to-do list.
But okay, let's hear it. What's your
pitch?
>>
We want to get away from this ridiculous
way and custom of
uh every twice a year turning your
clocks back, turning your clocks
forward, being late for dinner.
>>
Yeah.
Yeah.
Finally a crisis that Trump takes
seriously, being late for dinner.
No president wants to get that terrible
phone call, "Sir, they've already
started serving the appetizers."
I mean, it's 2026. There's like one
clock in my entire house that doesn't
change automatically.
If Trump wants to permanently shift the
entire country's daylight hours, he's
going to need a better reason than it's
annoying to change the clock.
>>
We don't want to change clock
twice a year. IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE.
>>
IT'S EXPENSIVE? HUH?
How is it expensive to change your
clocks? Are you hiring Shohei Ohtani to
do IT FOR YOU?
MAYBE I'M DOING IT WRONG, BUT
HISTORICALLY IT'S ALWAYS cost me $0 to
change my clocks. Mr. President, you got
to give us a better reason. Crime rates,
car safety, GDP, something.
>>
They don't want to have to go around
changing clocks. People don't want to
have to change their clocks twice a
year.
It's a lot of work for a lot of people
that running around for 2 days changing
all the clocks in their house.
>>
Okay. Okay, now that sounds like a lie I
would make up to avoid going to my
daughter's recital. Sorry, honey, it's
going to take me like 2 days to change
all the clocks, but
I'm sure you'll do good do great
considering you practiced once in the
last 6 months. But, I'll admit,
it is a lot of running around. And
sadly, most fatal clock changing
accidents happen at home.
The time of death?
NOBODY KNOWS.
BUT, NOT ALL REPUBLICANS WANT THIS as
bad as Trump does. In fact, the only
thing standing in the way of Trump and
his dream of permanent daylight is
Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton, so named
because he's genetically half Q-tip.
He's
single-handedly blocking Trump's bill
from coming to vote. And I'm sure Trump
is going to be totally normal about
that right?
RIGHT?
RIGHT?
>>
PRESIDENT TRUMP PUBLICLY SHARED on
social media what he said is the
personal cell phone number of Republican
Senator Tom Cotton in an apparent effort
to pressure the lawmaker to support
legislation that would make daylight
saving time permanent.
>>
Wait, wait, wait, wait. He released his
personal cell phone number?
Oh my god, what a dick.
Is what Tom Cotton probably thought when
he got 60,000 unsolicited dick pics.
Well,
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