Hello, Thing .
Did you really think my highly-trained olfactory sense
wouldn't pick up on the faint whiff of neroli and bergamot
in your favorite hand lotion?
I could do this all day.
Surrender?
Mother and Father sent you to spy on me, didn't they?
I'm not above breaking a few fingers.
The fact they thought I wouldn't find out just
proves how much they underestimate me.
Oh, Thing.
You poor, naive appendage.
My parents aren't worried about me.
They're evil puppeteers who wanna pull my strings, even from afar.
The way I see it, you have two options.
Option one,
I lock you in here for the rest of the semester
and you go slowly insane trying to claw your way out,
ruining your nails and your smooth, supple skin.
And we both know how vain you are.
Option two,
you pledge your undying loyalty to me.
Our first order of business is to escape this teenage purgatory.
Of course I have a plan.
And it begins now.

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